Saturday July 19th 4am, I kissed my kids Carson (6) and Madilynn (4) goodbye making sure I got two extra kisses from each to help keep me strong then I turned and grabbed my bags and headed out the door to the waiting car service. “I hate this” I tell myself as the tears start to well up in my eyes and then I laugh to myself…who says I’m not human….this sucks, I already miss them and I’m not even gone." It is a quiet, warm morning on Long Island as the driver takes me to the JFK airport. I want to sleep since I know sleep will allude me within the next few days but I can’t help but listen to the radio.